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Using a template takes away the uniqueness. I can't believe you cheated, my hart is deafeated.

» Top dating website TV ad 1: Benaughty. I have blue eyes, blond hair, and am 5'6''. Thanks for the chuckle!

Weird and Funny Singles Ads From Women on the Hunt

But that doesn't mean we can't have a good laugh every now at the expense of the lonely and desperate. Especially those who advertise themselves on the public market with such an amusing array of humorous, weird, and shocking words. In another article, I highlighted some of the most bizarre, arrogant, and downright creepy ads posted by men. Here, we will see what the ladies have to say. As before, remember that this article is meant to be educational, so take these following ads as examples in how not to advertise yourself when dating. Who says that women don't know what they want? Sure, some women's opinions and needs may change every few minutes... SW-looking for solid relationship. I am 32, college educated, smart, fun, and sexy. I seeking a man who is ready to commit. And she is definitely a goal-oriented woman! You are 23-30 years old, youthful, lean, rugged. You have sparkling blue eyes, sandy hair, and a great smile. You are quiet and shy. You spend time outdoors, you love your family. You like dogs, kids, home-cooking, romantic nature walks, comedies, indie music. You can sing, play an instrument, and kiss like a dream. You have a horse, a home in the country and a real job. You want a good woman and beautiful kids. Wherever you are, I'm yours. Date to family reunion. Three days, all expenses paid. Looking for man who is 30-45, tall, healthy, and smart. Must be comfortable with strangers, able to play endless hours of frisbee, and not a vegetarian. Must be either Christian or willing to pretend, have a good job, and like animals and kids. Please be well-groomed, too. Ironed clothes are a big plus. I am a 31 yo athletic brunette with brown eyes. Please don't respond if you don't think you can pretend to be my boyfriend. It is pretty much understood that mean are visual creatures. They like to look first. What one guy finds attractive may be a major turn-off for the next guy; each one has his own individual idea about beauty. I am 24 and really cute. I am a college student, getting my degree in education. I have blue eyes, blond hair, and am 5'6''. I am sporty, athletic, pretty, and attractive. If you are looking for someone who will love to look at, call me. My measurements are 40-29-38. Looking for fun guy who likes piercings! I will never be that woman who meets you at the door wearing pajamas and a sweatshirt. Yes, I am heavy at 385 pounds. I don't wear makeup, i wear comfy clothes. My mom says i am a slob. I won't judge you on what you wear either. I'm 23, active and healthy. I work-out twice a day, eat a strict diet, and spend a lot of time on grooming. I demand someone who cares as much or more about his appearance. No skulls, crosses, names of exes, or flowers, plz. Symbolic tats only, sleeve or back. Give me a call! Looking for man 60-72 who looks 50-55. No long hair, facial hair, tattoos, piercings, kids, debts, serious health conditions, or mental disorders. Many men want to settle down with a woman who is sweet and nurturing, Someone who will support them after a hard day. Someone who will be a role model to their children as she extends a loving hand to those in need. At least most men. I am looking for the man who can change my opinion. Looking for a man who is NOT a retarded, crazy, stupid, ugly, short, fat, drunk, jobless, mean, depressed, lying loser. I am looking for a LTR with someone who is honest and conversational. I will be honest too. I hate kids, so don't even bother me if you have them. I hate in-laws bad experience so don't expect me to love them. I hate cats, so get rid of it or don't bother me. I hate sports, so if that is your thing, either bring your own television or find someone who likes them. Black hair, blue eyes. Im Mindy--Im 19, almost 20 Im tall, kinda curvy. Im fun and spontaneous, very outgoing. Love to hang with friends, go to parties and dances. I like meeting new people, watching movies, singing in the shower. Im also very shy and sweet so if you are nice guy, maybe I am right for you. Totally into blood and guts movies. Love outdoors, art, reading, television, poetry, writing, animals, kids, my family. I work as a nude model for art classes so please no men with jealousy issues. My dream is to go on to be a Playmate. Women typically live longer than men. Gone are the days when widows had to live out the rest of their lives alone. Older women get divorced too. It is healthy and normal for these ladies to seek out new love lives. Sounds like the future men for these ladies will have their hands full though. Looking for mentally stable, nice looking man of any age, race, style, and background that is willing to put up with me. Please like pets, gardening and nosy grandchildren. Not looking to marry again, just want to date nice gentleman close to my age. I hold a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and am currently training in Judo. I know how to defend myself. Seeking someone for casual dating and romance. If it works you can move into my spare apartment. Both free to date others. Please be clean, kind, and have no criminal background. I think we all get a little irked when we see messages on social networks that are garbled, and unreadable We can forgive typos, a little bad spelling, even some incorrect word use. I definitely forgive people who are making an wonderful effort to type or write in a second language. I firmly believe some of the messages such as the ones below were written by people from Mars. Be nice, smart and good looking no weirdos. Thanks todd you broke my hart, and now we are apart. I can't believe you cheated, my hart is deafeated. Im sexy and im hot, if your with someone who's not, i need someone whose new, call me if its you. The world is full of lonely people looking for love. Why does dating have to be so hard? Well, the good news is that experts say that there is someone or more for each of us. No matter what you look like, or unusual you seem in your ads, that perfect someone is out there waiting for you too. Aww--thank you very much Epigramman! It is a shame that people waste most of a good life looking for the 100% perfect partner. I will take my relationship with my husband anyday... We compromise, we lock horns, but we are rarely bored. Thanks for reading and leaving such a splendid comment. And I hope that birthdays with cats are as wonderful in Canada as they are in Oklahoma! I peeked at a few Craigslist ads while writing these articles and I was pretty amazed. Those ads are certainly.... And sometimes very, very weird. I'm not sure if they are all real, or if someone thought them up just to see if they got any responses. A much too competitive sport with too many rules for my taste! Honesty is a good thing though. Maybe she found someone with no relatives, kids, cats, or sporting interests! Glad you got a laugh from it! Thanks for reading and commenting! I noticed a big difference between the older ads and the more recent ones as well. People seem more irritable and blunt as time progresses. And then if you read the ads listed online today... Thanks for reading and commenting, and I am glad you got a good laugh! From married and looking to people who just wanted to have a hot hookup. But it was one of my favorite projects simply because it helped me understand why people say they hate dating- it's like the most competitive sport not on ESPN. I have to imagine some of these people got no responses- especially Willa- since she doesn't even like cats or kids. Not to mention she can't even deal with sports. Thanks for the chuckle! But worth the price if you are absolutely picky! So I definitely wish your daughter luck! As for the rest of us, we can just sit back and laugh at some of the antics in dating ads. And what is even scarier? These were the NICE ads. Some were too awful to put on here! Thanks for reading and I am glad you enjoyed! I am still in awe! I know exactly of what you speak... I have heard many that are almost unbelieveble... I however have a solution.. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages ® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others. This website uses cookies As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. 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I hate in-laws bad experience so don't expect me to love them. You want to avoid scaring potential partners away by making yourself out to be someone anon odd. Many dating websites provide all sorts of templates you can use to create your personal ad or profile - avoid these. This website uses cookies As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. One of the best ways to figure out what you zip to put in your ad is to read other ads. Statistics Author Google Analytics This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service.